dennisgorelik: (2009)
To get a sense of how your older child might feel about the addition of the new baby, imagine this:
Your husband puts an arm around you and says: "Honey, I love you so much, and you're so wonderful that I've decided to have another wife just like you." When the new wife finally arrives, you see that she's very young and kind of cute. When the three of you are out together, people say hello to you politely, but exclaim ecstatically over the newcomer. "Isn't she adorable! Hello sweetheart... You are precious!" Then they turn to you and ask: "How do you like the new wife?"

Stolen from Sannichka
dennisgorelik: (2009)
Adults lie constantly to kids.
One of the most remarkable things about the way we lie to kids is how broad the conspiracy is.
If you ask adults why they lie to kids, the most common reason they give is to protect them.
As the roast turkey appeared on the table, his alarmingly perceptive 5 year old son suddenly asked if the turkey had wanted to die. Foreseeing disaster, my friend and his wife rapidly improvised: yes, the turkey had wanted to die, and in fact had lived its whole life with the aim of being their Thanksgiving dinner. And that (phew) was the end of that.

We arrive at adulthood with a kind of truth debt. We were told a lot of lies to get us (and our parents) through our childhood. Some may have been necessary. Some probably weren't. But we all arrive at adulthood with heads full of lies.

There's never a point where the adults sit you down and explain all the lies they told you. They've forgotten most of them. So if you're going to clear these lies out of your head, you're going to have to do it yourself.

Few do. Most people go through life with bits of packing material adhering to their minds and never know it. You probably never can completely undo the effects of lies you were told as a kid, but it's worth trying. I've found that whenever I've been able to undo a lie I was told, a lot of other things fell into place.

Fortunately, once you arrive at adulthood you get a valuable new resource you can use to figure out what lies you were told. You're now one of the liars. You get to watch behind the scenes as adults spin the world for the next generation of kids.

The first step in clearing your head is to realize how far you are from a neutral observer. When I left high school I was, I thought, a complete skeptic. I'd realized high school was crap. I thought I was ready to question everything I knew. But among the many other things I was ignorant of was how much debris there already was in my head. It's not enough to consider your mind a blank slate. You have to consciously erase it.
dennisgorelik: (2009)
Just asked Timothy (he's 6 now):
Where did you live when we were living in Montana (2005-2008).

His answers:
Frankfort (he was born there).
Florida (we live here).
I forgot.

He still cannot grasp "I did not exist back then" answer.

Asked Victoria (8 years old) similar question:
Where did you live when we lived in Russia?

Her answers:
- Mama's belly.
- Russia.
- Montana (she was born there).
- I don't get it.

Apparently this question is harder than I thought it was.

Where do your kids think they lived before they were born?
dennisgorelik: (2009)
Expected Birth date: July 3 2013
Expected Gender: female
First name: Elizabeth
Middle name: [Your suggestion here] Quinn
Last name: Gorelik

Last time we chose "Anthony"

Height: 52 cm.
Weight: 2877 g.

Elizabeth Quinn Gorelik
dennisgorelik: (Default)




dennisgorelik: (2009)
1) Expected birth date: end of May - beginning of June 2011
2) Expected gender: male.
3) The name should NOT start with the same letter as other names in my immediate family.
That means the name should NOT start with "D", "K", "N", "T", "V".
4) The name should be recognizable in the US, so it should be obvious to spell.
5) The name should be at least somewhat recognizable in Russia so grandparents and other relatives could pronounce it.
6) The name in combination with my last name should be unique on Google.
For example:
"Anthony Gorelik" - 10 matches on Google - pretty unique.
"Christopher Gorelik" - 177 matches on Google - somewhat unique.
"Michael Gorelik" - 4,480 matches - not unique at all.

Any suggestions?


dennisgorelik: (Default)
Dennis Gorelik

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